Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
