You can't special order awesome
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize