I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
