I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
