Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
