i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
