...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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