just survived the first fart of the relationship.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
