I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
