Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize