My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
