And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
