in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
