how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
