Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
