The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
