Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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