so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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