If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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