Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
