don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
