GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
