remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
