he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize