No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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