A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
