Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
