Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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