i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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