I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
