Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize