their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
