And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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