i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
