i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize