so let's talk penis.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
