Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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