And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
