Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize