she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
