I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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