please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
