It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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