so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
