Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
