Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
