but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
false alarm, still single
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
