So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Randomize
