she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize