I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
