that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
