Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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