but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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