Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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