i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
