Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
