Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just googled if crying burns calories
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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