We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
