Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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