i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
