are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize