Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
