I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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